Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
