I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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