Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
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