go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
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His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
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I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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