The maid of honor just puked.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
