GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
