She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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