Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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