I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
it's like heaven, but drunker
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
