So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
