i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
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