1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
youre lurking in front of me
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
