Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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