She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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