So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
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We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
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No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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