I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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