After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
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She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
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body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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