Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
