The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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