I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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