I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
