Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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