How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
