she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
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Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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