Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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