pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
