I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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