the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
