if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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