it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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