Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize