apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
