Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
