is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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