white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
