Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
