Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
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