IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
