so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
