The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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