Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
