I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
