already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
