Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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