I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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