Don't you send me to vm
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
