I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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