How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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