I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
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I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
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Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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