its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
