As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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