I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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