whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize