this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
