don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
