Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Two words: nipple clamps
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