something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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