I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
