So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize