dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
