Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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