he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
