and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
These tits shall not be calmed
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
