what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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