He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
